HEART ACHE
It was a long day,
My heart crushed,
My head pounding,
I gotta go!
No one tells me no,
Not even that girl,
I dont care if she was a ho,
She makes my heart ache,
It wants her back,
But my head doesnt,
What to do now?
I want her back so bad,
But how?
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Great bad poem fiddy!!!!! It still sucks, don't get me wrong. But it sucks worse, or better....I don't know.
ReplyDeleteI love the battle between the head and the heart. What a great place for a poem. Our heads and our heart don't always want the same thing. And to be able to personify the heart, saying "it wants her back"...giving the heart a mind of its own. That's great.
Not the very best, but I thought it was still pretty good. I also agree with Nelson about how you gave the heart a mind of its own, that is a great idea. Maybe revise it again and draw a little more on it? Its a great idea you have going here. The argument between head and heart. It happens to everyone and people relate to it so well. I'd really like to hear more from this one if you revised it again. All together, good job! Enjoyed reading it.
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